Does it make any sense to you????

I've been down quite lot lately. Six days have passed and I'm nowhere near the success. Reading book helps me get my head out of pessimistic and think of the good side.

But......

It's harder when your family is not really a supporter to you. I feel like we could make it together, my mom and I. Apparently, she seems disconnected. We used to share dreams and hopes. I know she gets tired from what she's been doing for the past years. I just hope that she would be the one who will stand beside me because no one in the family will. I was so certain that I'm gonna make it as long as she's there for me.

It's starting to change. I don't know if I can make it without her because I don't know how to do it alone :'( It seems as if she doen't know why I'm doing all this. I keep telling myself and giving her a hint that what we have is the only choice that can make everything better. Sure money isn't everything, but without it you can gain nothing in life.

My family is having problem, I'm sure of it. I just want everything back to the way they were. I could just be the bad girl and don't give a fuck about what happening, but because that's not who I am. Now I'm suffering!! If I can't make it within this month then I might not make it at all. My hopes and dreams are gonna smash into million pieces.

What should I do??? I ask myself whether what I want in life is too much to ask?? Am I not deserve to have the life that I want??? The things I want?? My dreams and wishes to come true??? Am I not good enough?? I'm crying but I can't let anyone see my tears. I'm broken and no one can fix me. I have to put a smiley face when I step out of my house or just waking up in the morning. What's going to happen in the future is worry me. I don't know what to do.......

Feel like cutting myself but then it's just another way of hurting people I love *CRY*

Best dream ever!!! ^^

I was running and dragging Mind to come along with me then she asked where we are going, and I answered "We're going to meet Tokio Hotel" :) I was super excited and happy just to know that very soon I would meet my favourite band and the love of my life >////<

We stopped when we got to the meet and greet place - the place was quite odd in my POV because if they'd come to Thailand, it would be in a better place like a big hall or something. The place was outside where they had this little dirt driveway and the old looking stage. The band was standing and waving to Thai fans and the fans were screaming so loud lol. The guys saying something but I couldn't remember...then it happened. When meet & greet was over and everybody started to leave, Mind and I sneaked to the path near the stage. It led to the backstage where I saw the guys sitting on the red couch. My heart was pumping so fast and I was a little nervous but super happy at the same time. Bill was the first who saw us >////<  I saw him looked at me - kinda like looked into my eyes - and I almost went crazy lol then the rest of the band looked at us........it wasn't over yet.

We ran out from the place to go back and got ready for the concert....then my dream went weird LOL, it usually happens alot, and I didn't bother to remember 'cause it wasn't the important part. Then I started to run with Mind again and this time I was dragged. She told me that we were going to miss the concert :(  Because of that, we ran the fastest the we could and yes we made it. When the door opened, I saw Bill looked right at me and he smiled.

1st Cold in Winter

It's been winter for two weeks and it keeps changing between hot, warm, and cool. I am winter lover so I am happy with the chillin' breeze greeting the weather :) However, today is the very first time that I feel extremely COLD!!! 

I've got goose bump all over my body  >o<  It's kinda suffering when you're so cold and couldn't find anything or any way to make yourself feel warmer. Even I'm inside the house for more than two hours, things ain't get any better. Worse part is when taking a shower, it's so cold like I'm almost shaking x___x

I'm starting to feel sick of going to work as I could do some other stuffs. Not that the work is so bad but I'd rather do something else...singing, dancing, get some excercise are what I really miss doing the most *sign*

Emolish

First thing to announce ^^

This is my very first blog ever!!! Still don't know what to write here. So much work so little free time :P

Probably this blog will be the mix of so many things. I would ramdomly post whatever I feel like to put them up here.

Off to watch TV and my favourite series now. Take care.